Review

A Royal Cheeseball: The Crown Jewel of Holiday Clichés

Move over, Hallmark holiday movies; "A Christmas Prince" just stormed the palace with a treasure chest full of festive clichés, a plot thinner than tinsel, and a romance more predictable than Santa’s yearly cookie binge. If you’re dreaming of a one-of-a-kind holiday flick, well, keep dreaming—this is classic Hallmark movie territory with a royal twist.

Picture this: a journalist—who's about as subtle as Rudolph’s nose in a blackout—sneaks into a tiny, fictional European country named Aldovia. Our heroine is tasked with getting the scoop on the handsome, brooding prince who’s next in line to rule a kingdom that looks suspiciously like the B-roll from every Hallmark holiday movie ever produced.

Armed with her beloved notebook, our daring Cinderella wannabe navigates a castle brimming with secrets, deceit, and more Christmas decor than a department store’s final sale. And spoiler alert: she falls for the Prince. I know, astonishing, right? It’s as if nobody ever saw that coming in a Christmas movie.

The film's primary conflict doesn’t involve political intrigue, but something far more pressing—the Prince's inability to wear a tie without help. Thankfully, our plucky protagonist is there to tie his noose (sorry, Windsor knot) and, along the way, their hearts. The Prince’s royal transition from commitment-phobe to loyal lover has all the finesse of a Hallmark movie trying to sell us instant chemistry between two people who’ve shared approximately five awkward conversations.

Meanwhile, the supporting characters are comprised of the obligatory sassy best friend, a royal baddie with all the menace of a grumpy hedgehog, and a child who suspiciously channels Wednesday Addams at a particularly festive Christmas gala.

“A Christmas Prince” is essentially the cinematic equivalent of your aunt’s fruitcake—predictable, oddly comforting, and best consumed with a glass of spiked eggnog. It’s perfect for anyone seeking an escape into a world where snow is always falling, romance is always blossoming, and every problem can be solved in 90 minutes or less. If this sounds like your kind of royal holiday retreat, brace yourself for a sleigh ride through cheesetopia and grab your popcorn—we’re crowning a new king of the Hallmark movie monopoly.