Review

"A Picture of Her: When Hallmark Movies Meet a Dash of Existential Crisis"

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a Hallmark movie had an identity crisis and decided to take itself just seriously enough to make you question your life choices, then A Picture of Her is the film for you. Released in 2023, this movie is like a Hallmark holiday movie that forgot it was supposed to be about a small-town baker falling in love with a big-city lawyer during Christmas. Instead, it’s about… well, honestly, I’m still not entirely sure, but there’s definitely a lot of staring at photographs and sighing dramatically.

The plot revolves around a quirky photographer (played by someone who clearly Googled “how to look artsy”) who stumbles upon an old picture of a mysterious woman. Cue the slow piano music and montages of her wandering through picturesque landscapes, trying to uncover the woman’s identity. Spoiler alert: it’s not her long-lost twin, but it is someone who could’ve easily been the star of a Hallmark movie if she’d just baked a pie or fallen in love with a lumberjack.

The film tries to be deep, but let’s be real—it’s basically a Hallmark movie with a PhD in overthinking. There’s no small-town charm, no meet-cute over a cup of cocoa, and definitely no festive sweaters. Instead, we get existential musings about life, love, and the meaning of art, which is great if you’re into that sort of thing, but honestly, I was just waiting for someone to start decorating a tree or at least spill some flour in a cute way.

The acting is fine, though the lead actress spends so much time looking pensive that I started to wonder if she was secretly trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube in her head. The supporting cast is delightful, but they’re underused, which is a shame because they clearly know how to deliver a punchline without making it sound like a TED Talk.

In the end, A Picture of Her is like a Hallmark holiday movie that got lost on its way to the Christmas market and ended up at a philosophy seminar. It’s not bad, but it’s not exactly good either. If you’re in the mood for something heartfelt with a side of “what am I doing with my life?” then this might be your jam. But if you’re looking for the cozy, predictable comfort of a Hallmark movie, you’re better off rewatching A Christmas Prince for the 47th time.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 awkwardly framed photographs.