Review

"A Safari Romance: Where Love Roars and Clichés Stampede"

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Hallmark movies and National Geographic had a baby, A Safari Romance is here to answer that question—and then some. Released in 2023, this film is the cinematic equivalent of a giraffe trying to do ballet: awkward, oddly charming, and impossible to look away from.

The plot is as predictable as a Hallmark holiday movie marathon. Our heroine, a plucky city girl named Claire (who inexplicably wears white linen in the middle of the savanna), jets off to Africa to save her late father’s failing safari lodge. Enter Jake, the ruggedly handsome wildlife photographer who’s allergic to commitment but not to shirtless scenes. Spoiler alert: they fall in love. But not before Claire accidentally adopts a baby elephant, Jake rescues her from a mildly aggressive warthog, and they share approximately 47 sunsets.

The dialogue is so cheesy it could be served at a fondue party. At one point, Claire declares, “The only thing wilder than this safari is my heart!” while Jake responds with, “You’re the only animal I can’t capture on film.” Cue the collective groan from the audience.

What sets A Safari Romance apart from your typical Hallmark movies is its commitment to absurdity. The CGI animals are so bad they make Sharknado look like Planet Earth. The lion looks like it was drawn by a kindergartener, and the hyenas seem to be laughing at the movie, not with it. And yet, somehow, it works. Maybe it’s the sheer audacity of the filmmakers, or maybe it’s the fact that the baby elephant steals every scene it’s in (which is all of them).

In the end, A Safari Romance is exactly what you’d expect from a movie that feels like Hallmark holiday movies got lost on their way to Vermont and ended up in the Serengeti. It’s ridiculous, heartwarming, and utterly unnecessary—but hey, sometimes you just need a movie where love conquers all, even poorly rendered CGI lions. Grab some popcorn, suspend your disbelief, and enjoy the chaos.

Rating: 3 out of 5 safari hats. Would watch again, but only if I’m trapped in a cabin with no Wi-Fi.