Review

"Branching Out: A Tree-mendously Predictable Adventure That Even Hallmark Movies Would Call 'Too Much'"

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Hallmark holiday movies and a nature documentary had a baby, Branching Out is here to answer that question—whether you wanted it to or not. Released in 2024, this film is like a cozy sweater knitted by your overly enthusiastic aunt: it’s warm, it’s familiar, and by the end, you’re not sure if you love it or just feel obligated to say you do.

The plot follows Sarah (played by the perpetually cheerful Emma Spriggs), a city girl who inherits a failing Christmas tree farm from her estranged grandfather. Naturally, she’s never so much as touched a pinecone, but within 24 hours of arriving in the quaint town of Evergreen Falls, she’s already bonding with the locals, learning the true meaning of family, and falling for the ruggedly handsome tree farmer next door (because of course there’s a ruggedly handsome tree farmer next door). His name is Jake, and he’s basically a lumberjack version of every Hallmark movies love interest you’ve ever seen—complete with a flannel shirt, a tragic backstory, and an inexplicable ability to chop wood while looking like he just stepped out of a cologne ad.

The movie’s title, Branching Out, is both literal and metaphorical. Sarah literally branches out by learning to prune trees, and metaphorically branches out by… well, learning to love again or something. Honestly, by the halfway point, I was just rooting for the trees. At least they had some character development—unlike the villainous corporate developer who wants to turn the farm into a parking lot. Spoiler alert: he’s defeated by the power of community, a heartfelt speech, and a strategically placed mistletoe.

The film’s pacing is slower than a sloth on a sugar crash, and the dialogue is so cheesy it could double as a fondue recipe. But hey, if you’re a fan of Hallmark holiday movies, you’ll feel right at home. The only thing missing is a subplot about a dog who saves Christmas, but don’t worry—there’s a goat named Nutmeg who fills the void nicely.

In the end, Branching Out is exactly what you’d expect: a wholesome, predictable, and slightly absurd tale about love, family, and the magic of evergreen trees. It’s not groundbreaking cinema, but it’s the kind of movie you’ll watch while wrapped in a blanket, sipping hot cocoa, and pretending you didn’t cry when Sarah finally finds the perfect tree for the town’s annual festival. (Spoiler: it’s the one she planted with Jake. Obviously.)

Final verdict: If Hallmark movies had a cousin who majored in forestry, this would be it. 3 out of 5 stars—mostly for Nutmeg the goat.