Review

"Everything Puppies: A Furry Frenzy That’s Basically a Hallmark Movie, But with More Slobber"

If you’ve ever watched a Hallmark movie and thought, “This is great, but where are the puppies?” then Everything Puppies is the cinematic masterpiece you’ve been waiting for. Released in 2024, this film is essentially a Hallmark holiday movie, but instead of a small-town baker falling in love with a big-city lawyer, it’s about a small-town baker falling in love with a big-city lawyer… and also adopting 47 puppies. Yes, you read that right. Forty. Seven. Puppies.

The plot is as predictable as a Hallmark movie’s third-act confession of love. Our protagonist, Sarah (played by the perpetually cheerful Emily Fluffington), inherits a struggling dog shelter in her quaint hometown. Enter Jake (played by the ruggedly handsome Max Pawsworth), a high-powered lawyer who just so happens to be allergic to dogs. Spoiler alert: by the end of the movie, he’s not allergic anymore. Because love conquers all, including histamines.

The puppies, of course, steal the show. There’s a scene where a golden retriever puppy accidentally knocks over a tray of cupcakes, and it’s the most chaotic and adorable thing you’ll ever see. It’s like Home Alone, but with more wagging tails and fewer booby traps. The filmmakers clearly knew what they were doing—every time the human drama gets a little too heavy, they cut to a puppy doing something ridiculous, like wearing a tiny cowboy hat or chasing its own tail. It’s impossible to stay mad at the world when there’s a corgi puppy trying to climb a staircase.

The dialogue is exactly what you’d expect from a movie that’s basically a Hallmark holiday movie with a puppy twist. Lines like, “Sometimes, love is like a puppy—it sneaks up on you when you least expect it,” are delivered with the kind of earnestness that makes you wonder if the actors were contractually obligated to keep a straight face. And don’t even get me started on the soundtrack, which features an excessive amount of ukulele music. I’m pretty sure there’s a ukulele cover of “Who Let the Dogs Out?” in there somewhere.

But here’s the thing: Everything Puppies knows exactly what it is. It’s not trying to win an Oscar. It’s not trying to be deep or thought-provoking. It’s trying to make you smile, cry happy tears, and maybe adopt a puppy. And on that front, it succeeds wildly. By the time the credits roll, you’ll be Googling “nearest animal shelter” and wondering if you, too, can fall in love with someone who’s allergic to dogs.

In conclusion, Everything Puppies is the cinematic equivalent of a warm hug from a golden retriever. It’s cheesy, it’s predictable, and it’s absolutely delightful. If you’re a fan of Hallmark movies, puppies, or both, this is the movie for you. Just make sure you have tissues on hand—not just for the emotional moments, but also for when the puppies inevitably slobber all over your heart.

Rating: 5/5 paws. Would watch again.