Review

"Field Day: Where Hallmark Movies Go to Sweat and Regret Their Life Choices"

Ah, Field Day. The 2023 cinematic masterpiece that asks the age-old question: What if Hallmark movies had to run a 5K in the middle of a cornfield while dodging rogue frisbees and existential dread? Spoiler alert: It’s exactly as chaotic and oddly endearing as it sounds.

The plot revolves around a small-town schoolteacher, Emma (played by the perpetually perky Jessica Sunshine—yes, that’s her real name, and yes, she probably smells like pumpkin spice), who accidentally volunteers to organize her town’s annual Field Day. Think Hallmark holiday movies, but instead of a cozy Christmas cabin, you’ve got a muddy obstacle course and a suspiciously competitive pie-eating contest. Oh, and there’s a love interest, of course—a ruggedly handsome farmer named Chad (because of course his name is Chad) who spends most of the movie inexplicably shirtless and holding a pitchfork. Is he a farmer or a calendar model? The world may never know.

The movie is essentially a love letter to small-town America, complete with quirky side characters like Doris, the 80-year-old yoga instructor who can do a handstand while balancing a watermelon on her feet, and Billy, the local mechanic who’s way too invested in the three-legged race. It’s like Hallmark movies decided to take a break from their usual formula of “city girl falls for small-town guy while baking cookies” and instead said, “Let’s throw everyone into a muddy pit and see what happens.”

The humor is as subtle as a dodgeball to the face, but somehow it works. There’s a scene where Emma tries to rally the town by giving an inspirational speech, only to be interrupted by a rogue chicken that’s been terrorizing the event all day. It’s absurd, it’s ridiculous, and yet… I laughed. I laughed harder than I’ve laughed at most Hallmark holiday movies, where the biggest conflict is usually whether the protagonist will choose the red or green wrapping paper for her gift.

But let’s be real: Field Day isn’t winning any Oscars. The dialogue is cheesier than the nachos at the concession stand, and the plot twists are about as predictable as a sunrise in a Hallmark movie. Still, there’s something oddly charming about watching a bunch of adults take a sack race way too seriously. It’s the kind of movie you watch with your friends while eating popcorn and yelling, “Why is Chad still shirtless?!”

In conclusion, Field Day is the cinematic equivalent of a participation trophy: it’s not the best, but it’s trying its hardest, and you can’t help but root for it. If you’re a fan of Hallmark movies but wish they had more mud, sweat, and rogue poultry, this is the movie for you. Just don’t forget to bring your sense of humor—and maybe a towel. You’re gonna need it.

Final Rating: 3.5/5 Shirtless Farmers