Review

"Haunted Wedding: When 'I Do' Turns Into 'I’m Dead'"

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a Hallmark holiday movie collided with a low-budget horror flick, Haunted Wedding is here to answer that question—sort of. Released in 2024, this film is the cinematic equivalent of a wedding cake that looks gorgeous but tastes like cardboard. It’s sweet, spooky, and slightly nonsensical, like if Hallmark movies decided to dabble in the paranormal after one too many eggnogs.

The plot is as predictable as a Hallmark holiday movie, but with more ghosts. A small-town florist (because of course she’s a florist) named Emily is about to marry her childhood sweetheart, Jake, in a charming, rustic barn. But when a mysterious antique wedding veil is delivered to her shop, things take a turn for the spectral. Suddenly, Emily is haunted by the ghost of a jilted bride who insists on sabotaging the wedding. Cue the spooky hijinks, awkward slapstick, and a lot of screaming into the void.

The ghost, played by a delightfully over-the-top actress who clearly had the time of her life, steals every scene she’s in. Her dramatic monologues about betrayal and eternal heartbreak are so campy, you’ll half-expect her to break into a rendition of Phantom of the Opera. Meanwhile, Emily and Jake spend most of the movie running around in circles, trying to figure out how to appease the ghost while also planning their wedding. Spoiler alert: it involves a lot of candles, a séance, and a cameo by a psychic who looks suspiciously like the town’s mayor from every other Hallmark movie ever made.

The film’s biggest strength is its ability to poke fun at itself. It knows it’s ridiculous, and it leans into it hard. There’s a scene where Emily tries to reason with the ghost by offering her a bouquet of flowers, and the ghost responds by throwing them back at her like a disgruntled bridesmaid. It’s absurd, but it works because the movie doesn’t take itself too seriously.

That said, Haunted Wedding suffers from the same pitfalls as most Hallmark movies: cheesy dialogue, a lack of character depth, and a resolution that’s wrapped up way too neatly. By the end, you’ll be left wondering why the ghost didn’t just haunt a therapist instead of a wedding. But hey, at least there’s a happy ending—sort of.

In conclusion, Haunted Wedding is the perfect movie to watch if you’re in the mood for something light, silly, and just spooky enough to make you jump when your cat knocks over a vase. It’s not going to win any Oscars, but it might just win a spot in your heart—or at least your list of guilty pleasures. Just don’t expect it to replace your favorite Hallmark holiday movies anytime soon.

Rating: 3 out of 5 ghostly bouquets. 👻💐