Review

"Over the Moon in Love: A Hallmark Movie So Cheesy, It Needs a Lactose Warning"

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a Hallmark movie and a rom-com had a baby, and that baby was raised by a glitter factory, Over the Moon in Love is here to answer that question. Released in 2019, this film is the cinematic equivalent of a sugar rush—sweet, predictable, and guaranteed to leave you with a headache if you think about it too hard.

The plot is as familiar as your grandma’s holiday fruitcake: a big-city career woman (let’s call her “Generic Protagonist”) returns to her small hometown for the holidays, only to bump into her high school sweetheart (let’s call him “Handsome Lumberjack Who Somehow Has Perfect Hair”). Sparks fly, snow falls, and there’s at least one scene where they decorate a Christmas tree while awkwardly avoiding eye contact. It’s like someone took every Hallmark holiday movie ever made, put them in a blender, and hit “puree.”

But here’s the twist: instead of Christmas, this movie is set during a lunar festival. Yes, folks, we’ve finally reached the point where Hallmark movies are branching out from their usual holiday fare. Instead of mistletoe, we get mooncakes. Instead of Santa, we get a wise old man who spouts fortune-cookie wisdom. It’s like the filmmakers said, “What if we made a Hallmark movie, but… in space?” (Spoiler: it’s not actually in space. That would’ve been way more interesting.)

The dialogue is so cheesy, it could double as a fondue recipe. At one point, Generic Protagonist says, “Love is like the moon—it waxes and wanes, but it’s always there.” Handsome Lumberjack responds with, “And you’re my full moon.” Cue the violins, the slow-motion running through a field, and the inevitable montage of them holding hands while wearing matching scarves.

The supporting cast is equally delightful in their predictability. There’s the sassy best friend who exists solely to deliver one-liners, the quirky small-town shop owner who sells handmade trinkets, and the precocious child who somehow knows more about love than the adults. It’s like the filmmakers raided the Hallmark holiday movie character warehouse and said, “We’ll take one of each, please.”

In conclusion, Over the Moon in Love is the kind of movie you watch when you’ve already seen every other Hallmark movie and you’re desperate for something that feels like a warm hug but tastes like a stale sugar cookie. It’s not groundbreaking, it’s not profound, and it’s definitely not realistic. But if you’re in the mood for a cozy, predictable, and slightly ridiculous love story, this movie will have you over the moon… or at least over the couch with a bowl of popcorn.

Final rating: 3 out of 5 mooncakes. Would watch again, but only if I’m trapped in a snowstorm with no other options.