Review

"Paging Mr. Darcy: A Jane Austen-Inspired Hallmark Movie That’s as Predictable as Your Aunt’s Fruitcake"

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice collided with a Hallmark holiday movie, Paging Mr. Darcy is here to answer that question with a resounding, “Well, duh.” Released in 2024, this film is a delightful (read: formulaic) romp through the world of academia, ballroom dancing, and enough awkward meet-cutes to make even Mr. Darcy himself roll his eyes.

The plot follows Dr. Eloise Cavendish (played by the ever-charming Hallmark staple, Emily Winslet), a fiercely independent literature professor who despises romance novels and, naturally, anything resembling love. Enter Sam Darcy (played by the impossibly handsome and brooding Chris Fitzwilliam), a wealthy philanthropist with a heart of gold and a penchant for quoting Austen at inappropriate moments. When Eloise is forced to team up with Sam to save her university’s struggling English department, sparks fly, misunderstandings abound, and at least three people trip over their own feet in a ballroom. Classic Hallmark movies, am I right?

The film is a masterclass in Hallmark holiday movies tropes: there’s a quirky best friend who runs a bakery, a small-town festival that somehow solves all problems, and a montage of Eloise and Sam bickering while decorating a Christmas tree (because of course it’s set during the holidays). The dialogue is as cheesy as a Wisconsin cheddar factory, with lines like, “Maybe love isn’t just in books—it’s in the way you look at me when I’m covered in flour,” delivered with the kind of earnestness that only Hallmark actors can pull off without laughing.

What sets Paging Mr. Darcy apart from other Hallmark movies is its self-awareness. At one point, Eloise quips, “This feels like the plot of a bad romance novel,” to which Sam replies, “Or a Hallmark holiday movie.” Touché, Sam. Touché.

The film’s climax involves a grand gesture so over-the-top it makes Love Actually look subtle, and the obligatory happy ending is as satisfying as a warm cup of cocoa by the fire. Sure, the plot is predictable, the characters are archetypes, and the chemistry between the leads is about as subtle as a neon sign, but isn’t that why we watch Hallmark movies? They’re like a cozy blanket for your brain—comforting, familiar, and occasionally a little itchy.

In conclusion, Paging Mr. Darcy is the perfect movie for anyone who loves Jane Austen, Hallmark holiday movies, or watching attractive people fall in love while wearing ugly Christmas sweaters. It’s not going to win any Oscars, but it might just win your heart—or at least make you laugh while you eat popcorn in your pajamas. 7/10, would watch again while pretending I’m not crying at the ballroom scene.