Review

Private Princess Christmas: A Royal Affair with Tinsel and Tiaras

If you're a fan of Hallmark holiday movies and have dreamt of seeing a festive romance where mistletoe meets monarchy, buckle up your sleigh belts for "Private Princess Christmas"! This delightful sleigh ride takes you through every familiar trope with a royal twist, right down to the snow-capped castle turrets and predictably heartwarming ending.

The plot follows a down-to-earth American army veteran named Charlie who unwittingly saves the secretive royal Princess Ava from a snowy car mishap while on her covert vacation in Smalltown, USA. Spoiler alert: sparks fly faster than Santa’s reindeer on a caffeine bender as Charlie teaches Ava the true meaning of an American eclectic Christmas—apple pies and all.

From ice skating under twinkling fairy lights to crafting ugly Christmas sweaters, "Private Princess Christmas" checks all the boxes of typical Hallmark movies, but with a delightful royal embellishment. The dialogue might be cheesier than a Christmas fondue, and the snow more fake than a Kardashian’s Instagram feed, but that’s precisely the charm. Even the majestic royal corgi seems to bark merrily in sync with the sleigh bells jingling in the background soundtrack.

Director Holly Jolly (yes, that really appears to be her name) leans heavily into classic Hallmark holiday movies clichés, making us all question if the moral of the story is that all you need for true love is mistletoe, royalty, and a charming comma of plaid attire. Despite all the predictability, you’ll catch yourself rooting for Charlie and Ava, their world’s most adequate gingerbread house, and her loving embrace of a life that's less crown and more crown roast.

By the time the credits roll and the twinkling lights of a digitally constructed castle fade to black, you’ll either be reaching for a royal family history book or pressing play to start the holiday magic all over again. Bring on the hot cocoa and a barrel of popcorn—you’re in for a holly, jolly, royally entertaining ride!