Review

"Retreat to You: A Love Story So Predictable, Even Your Grandma Called It"

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a Hallmark movie and a Pinterest board had a baby, Retreat to You is here to answer that question. This 2023 romantic comedy is the cinematic equivalent of a cozy blanket, a cup of hot cocoa, and a fire alarm going off in the background because you forgot you left the cookies in the oven.

The plot is as follows: city girl with a high-powered job (who secretly hates her life) retreats to a small town (population: 12) where she meets a ruggedly handsome woodworker (who is inexplicably single). Spoiler alert: they fall in love. Shocking, I know. Along the way, there’s a quirky best friend, a meddling but lovable grandma, and a dog that steals every scene it’s in. If you’ve seen one Hallmark holiday movie, you’ve seen them all—and Retreat to You is no exception.

The movie’s charm lies in its predictability. You know exactly what’s going to happen within the first five minutes, but you keep watching anyway because, hey, it’s comforting. Like eating a whole box of store-bought cookies while wearing sweatpants. The dialogue is cheesy, the chemistry is lukewarm, and the town’s annual “Winter Wonderland Festival” looks like it was decorated by a kindergarten class with a $50 budget. But somehow, it works.

If you’re a fan of Hallmark movies, you’ll love this. If you’re not, well, you’ll probably still watch it because your mom put it on and you’re too lazy to grab the remote. Retreat to You is the cinematic equivalent of a Hallmark holiday movie marathon—it’s not groundbreaking, but it’s warm, fuzzy, and just the right amount of ridiculous.

Final verdict: 3 out of 5 snowflakes. Would watch again while folding laundry.