Review

"Royal-ish: A Crown Jewel of Predictability with a Side of Cheese"

If Hallmark movies and Hallmark holiday movies had a royal baby, it would be Royal-ish (2025). This film is like a tiara made of glitter glue—it sparkles, but you know it’s not the real deal.

The plot? Oh, you’ve seen it before. A small-town baker (because of course she’s a baker) accidentally saves a prince from a rogue croissant, and suddenly she’s whisked away to a fictional European kingdom where everyone speaks in British accents but also inexplicably loves American idioms. The prince is charmingly clueless, the queen is stern but secretly has a heart of gold, and there’s a ballroom dance scene that will make you question why you ever stopped watching Dancing with the Stars.

What sets Royal-ish apart from your average Hallmark holiday movie is its commitment to leaning into the absurdity. At one point, the baker teaches the royal family how to make s’mores, and the queen declares it “a most regal delicacy.” There’s also a subplot involving a mischievous corgi who steals the crown jewels, which is honestly the most believable part of the movie.

The chemistry between the leads is... well, let’s just say it’s about as convincing as a Hallmark movie snowstorm in July. But hey, who needs chemistry when you have a montage of the baker trying on ballgowns while the prince awkwardly claps in the background?

In the end, Royal-ish is exactly what you’d expect: a sugary, feel-good confection that’s light on logic but heavy on charm. It’s the cinematic equivalent of eating an entire box of store-bought cookies—you’ll feel a little guilty, but you’ll also kind of love it. If you’re a fan of Hallmark movies or just need a break from reality, this one’s for you. Just don’t forget to curtsy on your way out of the theater.

Rating: 3.5 tiaras out of 5.