Review

"The Perfect Setting: A Hallmark Movie That Forgot to Hallmark"

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a Hallmark movie tried to be edgy, The Perfect Setting is here to answer that question with a resounding, “Uh… don’t.” Released in 2025, this film is like a Hallmark holiday movie that got lost on its way to the Christmas tree farm and ended up at a pretentious indie film festival.

The plot revolves around a quirky small-town baker (played by the perpetually charming but slightly confused lead) who accidentally invents a magical pie crust that makes people fall in love. Yes, you read that right. A pie crust. Forget Hallmark movies where love blooms over a cup of cocoa and a snowball fight—this one’s all about carbs and destiny.

The movie tries so hard to be different from your typical Hallmark holiday movies that it ends up feeling like someone threw a dart at a board labeled “random plot twists.” There’s a subplot about a rival bakery owner who’s secretly a time traveler (don’t ask), a goat that knows how to tap dance, and a love triangle involving a pie crust, a barista, and a guy who’s really into birdwatching. It’s like the writers watched every Hallmark movie ever made, got drunk on eggnog, and said, “Let’s make this weird.”

The dialogue is a mix of Hallmark-level cheese and lines that sound like they were written by a philosophy major who just discovered existentialism. At one point, the lead character stares wistfully at a pie and says, “Love is like a crust—sometimes it crumbles, but it’s always worth the calories.” Deep.

Visually, the movie is stunning. The small-town setting is so picturesque it looks like it was designed by the same people who make Hallmark holiday movie sets. Every frame is filled with cozy sweaters, golden sunlight, and enough baked goods to make you question your life choices. But then, out of nowhere, there’s a scene where the goat tap-dances to a dubstep remix of “Jingle Bells,” and you’re reminded that this is not your grandma’s Hallmark movie.

In the end, The Perfect Setting is a bizarre but oddly entertaining mess. It’s like if a Hallmark movie and a fever dream had a baby, and that baby grew up to be a pastry chef with a penchant for the absurd. If you’re looking for a wholesome, predictable love story, stick to the classic Hallmark movies. But if you’re in the mood for something that will leave you saying, “What did I just watch?” while eating an entire pie, this might be your jam.

Rating: 3 out of 5 pie crusts (because, honestly, the goat deserved an Oscar).