Review

"The Professional Bridesmaid: A Love Story That’s 90% Tulle and 10% Plot"

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a Hallmark movie and a Pinterest board had a baby, The Professional Bridesmaid is here to answer that question with a resounding “Why not?” This 2023 gem (or glitter bomb, depending on your tolerance for sequins) is the cinematic equivalent of a wedding cake: sweet, over-the-top, and guaranteed to leave you with a sugar headache.

The plot follows Harper, a professional bridesmaid (yes, that’s a real job in this universe, and no, I’m not jealous at all) who’s hired to save a small-town wedding from disaster. Along the way, she falls for the groom’s brooding older brother, who’s basically a lumberjack who moonlights as a poet. It’s like Hallmark movies and Hallmark holiday movies had a secret meeting and decided to combine forces to create the ultimate rom-com cliché. And honestly? It works. Sort of.

The movie is packed with all the tropes you know and love: a quirky best friend who owns a bakery, a montage of Harper trying on bridesmaid dresses while looking flawless, and a scene where the leads accidentally fall into a lake. (Because nothing says romance like wet khakis.) There’s even a subplot about a goat named Mr. Whiskers who steals the show every time he’s on screen. Move over, Ryan Gosling—this goat is the real leading man.

But here’s the thing: The Professional Bridesmaid knows exactly what it is. It doesn’t try to be deep or groundbreaking. It’s here to make you laugh, cry, and maybe question why you’re not wearing a floor-length gown right now. The dialogue is cheesy, the chemistry is predictable, and the ending is so saccharine it could give you cavities. But isn’t that why we watch these movies? To escape into a world where every problem can be solved with a heartfelt speech and a well-timed slow dance?

In conclusion, if you’re a fan of Hallmark movies or Hallmark holiday movies, this is your new guilty pleasure. It’s not going to win any Oscars (unless there’s a category for Best Use of Tulle), but it will win your heart. And if it doesn’t, well, there’s always Mr. Whiskers. 7/10, would recommend with a side of champagne and a bouquet of roses.