Review

"The Reluctant Royal: A Crown Jewel of Predictability with a Side of Schmaltz"

Ah, The Reluctant Royal, the 2025 cinematic masterpiece that somehow manages to be both a love letter to and a parody of every Hallmark movie ever made. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a Hallmark holiday movie got drunk on royal tea and stumbled into a rom-com, this is it. Spoiler alert: it’s exactly as ridiculous and delightful as it sounds.

The plot is as familiar as your grandma’s fruitcake recipe. A small-town baker (played by the perpetually charming Emma Whiskerly) accidentally saves a prince (dashingly bland Prince Charming 2.0, aka Liam Windsor) from a rogue croissant attack. Naturally, this leads to her being invited to the royal palace, where she must navigate glittering ballrooms, snooty nobles, and the fact that she’s allergic to caviar. Will she fall in love with the prince? Will she teach him the true meaning of life by baking a pie? Will there be a scene where she trips and spills flour all over herself while he looks on adoringly? Yes, yes, and oh my god, yes.

What sets The Reluctant Royal apart from your average Hallmark holiday movie is its self-awareness. The film winks at the audience so often, you’d think it had a nervous tic. There’s a scene where the prince’s butler (played by the always brilliant Sir Reginald Stuffington) deadpans, “This is just like one of those Hallmark movies, isn’t it?” To which Emma replies, “Except with more tiaras and fewer Christmas trees.” Touché, movie. Touché.

The chemistry between Emma and Liam is... well, let’s just say it’s as believable as a Hallmark movie plotline. They bicker, they bond over baking, and they share a dance in the moonlight that’s so cheesy, it could be served with crackers. But hey, that’s what we signed up for, right? This isn’t Citizen Kane; it’s The Reluctant Royal, and it knows its audience better than we know ourselves.

The supporting cast is a hoot. The queen (played by Dame Maggie McSnoot) delivers lines like, “One does not simply not wear gloves to tea,” with the gravitas of someone who’s never had to wash a dish in her life. And let’s not forget the obligatory quirky best friend (Jenny Sprinkle, played by the scene-stealing Lulu Laughsalot), who exists solely to deliver one-liners and remind Emma that she’s “just a small-town girl in a big, sparkly world.”

In the end, The Reluctant Royal is exactly what it promises to be: a fluffy, feel-good romp that’s as comforting as a warm blanket and as predictable as the sunrise. It’s Hallmark movies on steroids, with a dash of royal flair. If you’re looking for deep philosophical insights or groundbreaking cinematography, look elsewhere. But if you want to spend two hours grinning like an idiot and dreaming of tiaras, this is your movie. Just don’t forget the popcorn—and maybe a slice of pie.